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To start this, we’re both mentally ill. My boyfriend (m23) is working, i am currently jobless but trying to find a job also feels like a 9-5 in this economy. I mainly do ALL the housework which i know shouldn’t be a problem since i am home all day but the issue is that my partner just doesn’t clean up after himself at all.

I get that i can do the basic house cleaning stuff an i would glady do it but it just annoys me SO much that i have to clean up after him. Even when he’s not at work for a few days, it’s still me who has to do everything.

I tried bringing it up nicely multiple times, that I don’t mind doing most of the cleaning as long as he just cleans up after himself. He said he’ll change and that he’s trying but nothing ever happens, we circle back to this every few weeks. He always says he’s overwhelmed with everything, so i offer to help him and show him how to do stuff but he always refuses because he says “he doesn’t want to feel stupid”.

I always reassure him saying him it’s okay because everyone has to start somewhere to learn something. I tried just leaving his stuff and not cleaning his stuff up but it just gets very messy and at a certain point I can’t stand it anymore and just do it because i don’t feel comfortable in our home anymore. I tried being nice about, I tried to tell him it’s a massive deal breaker, I genuinely tried everything.

It’s not even just cleaning, it’s cooking too and all that. I cook everyday all the time no matter how i am feeling. Because he “can’t cook”, once again tried to offer to teach him and he refused. If i don’t cook we genuinely just don’t eat. When I really can’t cook that day he just orders junk food, which i brought up that i don’t want that all the time.

Big thing just has been when i was sick a few days ago, I had a really bad flu, had high fewer and all that and couldn’t do anything. When i asked him if he could take of making food that day, he just said he doesn’t know what.

So i told him what we had at home and what he could make with that. skipping forward, i stood in the kitchen with a fewer and made food, cleaned up afterwards and did the dishes. I was so exhausted from that i didn’t even eat, he didn’t even said thank you.

He didn’t even went out with our dog when i was sick, i had to do. He also was at home the whole week that week so it wasn’t even about him being exhausted after work.

I just feel like he doesn’t make any effort at all to make me feel cared for too. I’m just tired of having that same argument every few weeks.

I am really at a loss to what i can do, to get him to do more around the house. I don’t wanna break up with him because almost everything besides that is so perfect and I love him so much. I am willing to try anything just to resolve this issue atp.