I sent you multiple voice notes… but you didn’t listen to any 🎧👀 Start from the first one… if you dare ⏳💬

I (27m) cheated on my girlfriend (25f) of 2 years, and this is my story. I am posting this as advice to any other men dealing with lust in their relationship. I am not myself looking for advice, or to be told that I’m wrong, I am well aware of the terrible nature of my actions and have been fighting it every day for the last year since we broke up.

To preface this post I will say this was the first and only time I have ever cheated. I have always struggled with lust and most likely would have cheated before if the opportunity presented itself however I was fortunate enough that my struggles avoided me.

I met my ex girlfriend at work, she had just gotten out of a relationship and I had been single for a while. The first night we worked together it felt like I had met the person I would finish my life with. Wd started dating and she was hesitant at first due to recently ending her relationship of 2 years with her previous boyfriend. After a few months of casual dates, she asked me if I wanted to formally start dating and I was to the moon about it.

Everything was going very well until about a year and a half in when I started to get bored with the mundane sex life that we had. I asked her if she would be comfortable changing things up, timing, positions, places, etc., which she would say okay to but we would never follow through. I also begged her to do couples therapy with me regarding our sexual habits as well as some other communication issues. (I always wanted to talk things out vs she wanted to avoid the conversation for hours or days). I became more and more sexually detached from the relationship and started focusing more on my lustful thoughts of other women and watching videos online. During this time I also started to feel drowned with her attention, I didn’t want to talk as much, didn’t want to cuddle, wanted to play video games more often etcetera. During this period of time I moved jobs as well and began making some friends. There was a girl (28m) who I worked with there who started to show interest in me which eventually became an obvious physical interest.

I battled myself for a while but started to CONVINCE myself that my relationship was poor anyway, and I had been turned on for the first time in so long. This girl eventually made a pretty significant move and I could not fight the urge any longer. I caved and the girl & I had sex. I hid this for a while before eventually breaking up with my now ex girlfriend before she found out. A day after we broke up, she found out anyway and has hated me ever since; understandably.

So, what did I learn from this, and what is my advice for you if you are experiencing these similar thoughts and feelings?;

The girl that I was dating was nearly perfect. I have hated myself every day since this has happened and often contemplate moving on from this world. Worse now than ever; this is probably why I’m writing this and trying to prevent you from making the same horrendous mistake as me. The problems we had were small other than the sex problem which we were both suffering because of. However this is something that we could have worked through if we both took it seriously. I do not think I will ever love someone again. I’m a fairly attractive man and I am hit on very frequently however none of it means anything, all I can ever think about is her. I gave up LOVE for LUST, one is far greater than the other. Loving someone is a decision, sure maybe there is better but I will make the decision that regardless of potential “better” suitors, I am dedicating myself whole-heartedly to her and her only. So slow down, evaluate your situation honestly, remove sex and pure physical attraction from the picture and ask yourself if this person makes you HAPPY truly. If that person makes you happy on the large scale, communicate the need to work through the smaller problems. I would give up anything to have another chance at this relationship, but I fucked it up, and I am the only one to blame. For the last year I have genuinely hated myself so much, I have wanted to end things nearly every day, I have said the absolute worst things to myself 5 inches from my mirror and broken down more times than I can count, all for a lousy hook-up when a really good girl had so much genuine love for me. Does that sound worth it to you? Think before you act. Remove yourself from lustful situations. Talk to your partner about what is bothering you. Tell them you are struggling with lust. Exhaust every possible resource that you can if you truly love your person, because if you mess up, you may never get them back, and you may never find someone that can live up to how amazing they were.

Tldr;

I was in a pretty healthy relationship (petty arguments, poor sex life), and cheated. I regret it more than anyone could imagine and it genuinely has ruined my life. CHEATING IS NOT WORTH IT, IT WILL NEVER BE WORTH IT. If you struggle with lust, seek help IMMEDIATELY. Lust can ruin your life more than you could ever imagine, and take you far below rock bottom as it has done to me.