Sent You a Private Message, and now I’m checking my phone for your reply 😘💓Tap to reply.😘😘😘

​I (32/M) am writing this because I feel like my life has fallen apart in the last few days. I’ve had a best friend (29/M) for over 10 years. He moved to the UK about 4 years ago, but we stayed very close. Back home, I started spending a lot of time with his younger brother and his sister. ​Since my friend is abroad, he used to send money to my account, which I would then transfer to his sister for their household needs. Because of this, I started talking to his sister (28/F) more often. She is very friendly and jolly with everyone.

Over time, I started feeling a slight attraction toward her. I noticed some signs too—long conversations at night and the way she looked at me—but I tried my best to control my feelings because of my friendship. ​A few nights ago, things went horribly wrong. We- Me and my friend’s younger brother (25/M) as he was in india and were drinking heavily that night, and I ended up staying over. In a state of half-sleep and heavy intoxication, I sent her a very inappropriate message saying I wanted to hug her and sleep next to her. ​

She immediately told her brother (my best friend in the UK). He messaged me saying he never expected this from me. His elder sister came into the room, scolded the younger brother for letting me drink so much, and asked me to leave. ​I feel terrible. I’ve already left my hometown now. I was planning to move to the city for a job anyway, so I’m using that as an excuse, but the truth is I can’t face them. My friend used to talk about us celebrating festivals together next year, and I feel like I’ve destroyed everything. ​

They have tried calling me—the friend called a couple of times, and the sister called 5 times the next day—but I haven’t picked up. I feel like there’s nothing left to say. I even lent them around 50k for some help recently via my credit card, which I don’t even care about anymore though I have 1100 INR in my account but I will take care of it myself I just feel so much guilt because our families are neighbors and we’ve known each other forever. I’m having very dark, suicidal thoughts because it feels like my life and reputation are over. He was only good friend of mine and I did that that cant reverse.

Since 4 days and feel like never ending nightmare and can’t sleep without getting dreams of their family faces. I tried to back off from this a year but it happened as I got a feel this could happen but not such a dramatic way. I was feeling like saying her a week ago that I am attracted to her but gona delete the number because don’t want to spoil our relationship with family and my friend. I got late and drunk and… ​How do I deal with this guilt? Is there any way to fix this, or should I just disappear from their lives forever?

tl;dr: I (32M) sent an inappropriate drunk text to my best friend’s (32M) sister (28F). Now his family is upset, I’ve left town out of shame, and I don’t know how to face them or deal with the guilt.

Edit- Many saying it’s not a big deal but like some said yes, it’s a cultural thing. Don’t know about other places, but In india and the city I lives it’s a big deal, we called our friends brothers and their sister like ours. It’s clear you can’t feel about your friend’s sister like your real. But that’s the point- we live like that, even think about them something else. And, I broke that and I am really guilty for that. Like you all said, talk to them, maybe I will but what to say now, we will not be the friend’s like before.

For now, I need some time feeling heart palpations, dreams where family faces appear like they disappointed with me. I am also dealing my family problems and career and income thing too as I got 100k debt now. And, I lent the money because he needed that, like I said to help like brothers. And, he was paying in small emi amount. But now, I don’t wanna talk, I have to manage that too. But anyways thank you all, I rewritten that post with help of gemini to get a sentence structure or without mistakes because I don’t feel like writing all these but it’s real thing.