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I’m feeling really overwhelmed and unsure what the right thing to do is.

About a month ago, my (38F) friend (39F/NB) got evicted. We’ve known each other for about 6–8 years but aren’t particularly close — mostly I’ve helped her out from time to time when she’s had difficulties.

She has MS and some mental health issues, can’t work, and currently only receives about $1300/month from unemployment. She doesn’t have family or other people she can rely on. I couldn’t bear to see her get kicked out, so I offered to let her stay with me temporarily for free so she could get back on her feet. I didn’t really want a roommate, but I told myself I could manage it for about 6 months.

She moved in with her two cats. She couldn’t physically move things herself, so I also organized a group of people to help move her belongings when she was evicted. Some of her stuff is in my basement, and she’s using a bedroom and my den (which is closed off). She’s home all the time because she doesn’t work and has fatigue issues. There’s also been a pretty strong cat urine smell in the areas the cats are in, which has been stressful.

Yesterday something happened that pushed me over the edge a bit. I asked if she could let my dog into the fenced yard while I was out with friends. Somehow she ended up locked in the backyard without her phone or keys. I’m guessing she was out there for maybe 2–3 hours before I got home.

While trying to get back in, she destroyed a screen on my porch, broke a deadbolt and two doorknobs, and gouged up two doors and their frames pretty badly. It honestly looks like someone tried to break into my house. I went to the store and replaced the door hardware myself, which took about 3 hours, but the doors are still pretty damaged.

She apologized and offered to pay for repairs, but realistically she has almost no money and I know that if I take it, it will just make it harder for her to eventually move out. I’m not really worried about the cost as much as the logistics and mental load of dealing with repairs.

I know it was an accident and that she probably panicked. But the extent of the damage felt really excessive and irrational to me, especially since she knew I’d be home in a few hours and had access to water and could have waited or tried other solutions.

The bigger issue is that I’m starting to feel overwhelmed with the whole situation. She can’t physically help with repairs, maintenance, or even cleaning and she doesn’t have the financial resources to contribute to these things.

I feel incredibly guilty even thinking about asking her to leave because she genuinely doesn’t have many options and physically can’t just move herself somewhere else. I’m a social worker, so I’m very aware of how limited housing resources can be where I live.

At the same time, I’m starting to feel really stressed and overextended in my own home.

How would you handle this situation? How do you balance compassion for someone in a really difficult position with your own limits?

TL;DR:

A month ago I (38F) let a friend (39F/NB) stay with me for free after an eviction. Yesterday she panicked after getting locked out and damaged multiple doors trying to get back in. I’m feeling overwhelmed and like my home isn’t really mine anymore, but she has multiple disabilities and mental health issues and has very few options and I feel guilty asking her to leave.