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I’m (30F) thinking of breaking up with my bf (35M) because he lost his job
For context, we’ll be together 5 years in August 2026. He hated his job (remote) for our entire relationship then got laid off end of January 2026. He is actively looking/applying but his liberal arts degree is not really getting him anywhere in a town full of engineers (I am an engineer). He went from ~100k salary to jobless.
I make ~100k and am doing well. I was hoping he’d be doing well too and we’d rent a nice home but now I’m in a place where he’s jobless and we have a cat and an expensive rent in an expensive city.
He’s abandoned multiple cats so I don’t want him to take the cat. He doesn’t have family or friends in the area so he’d have to leave the expensive city if we broke up. I like him but he has a temper, yells at me and sometimes pushes me when he’s angry (he’s shorter than me and claims he can’t “really” hurt me).
I really hate that he’s jobless, mean AND doesn’t help me clean. He cooks a lot and has been much nicer/slightly more helpful around the house since being unemployed. He talks about random jobs unrelated to his long term job and of going back to school.
I don’t wanna be mean but I don’t want to get stuck in a one bedroom apartment with him while I have to support him fully. I struggled in my youth and now feel like I’ve earned my freedom and I don’t want to have a dependent, I would have kids if I wanted that lol.
Currently in my head I’m thinking if he doesn’t get a job by September a month before the lease is up I may not renew with him and move myself to a small place with the cat. I love him like family but his treatment and lack of motivation is killing my attraction and making me very anxious.
I got my shit together and I hate to see him just wasting away getting high and going out with friends and getting rejected from jobs. It feels like I’m moving forward and he’s just doing worse than when I met him.
TLDR It hurts me to wanna leave but do you think it’s reasonable to give him 6-8 months to find a job and if the lease is up tell him I can’t financially support us both and I can’t live with him?
