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The harsh facts of long distance relationships can be emotionally draining and challenging to overcome. Yet, despite their complexity, about 14 million couples in the U.S. say they live at least 100 miles or more apart from their partners. In this post, we’ll explore five reasons that contribute to a 40% break-up rate within an average of 5 months apart. In addition, we’ll also present a case study of one such couple that through coaching were able to weather the storm of separation.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Significant Effort Required

Long distance relationships require more communication and more planning than other relationships. This means that partners in long distance relationships need to make a conscious effort to keep their connection strong, which can be difficult when they’re physically apart. Communication is key, so partners should make an effort to stay in touch frequently through phone calls, video chats, Zoom/Skype and text messages. It’s also important to establish clear expectations and boundaries, such as how often to visit each other. For example, the couples that break up within 5 months of being apart, are those that make little to no effort to communicate frequently.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: They Can Become Expensive

Another harsh fact of long distance relationships is that they can be expensive. The cost of travel, phone bills, and other expenses can add up quickly. According to a survey by the dating app Badoo, people in long distance relationships spend an average of $111 per month on travel alone. This financial burden can create additional stress and tension in the relationship especially if one of the partners is in school or struggling financially.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Very Difficult for New Couples

Long distance relationships can be particularly difficult for couples who are just starting out. Without a strong foundation of trust and a ton of bonding, new couples are very vulnerable to break-ups.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: They’re Draining Emotionally

Another harsh reality of long distance relationships is that they can be emotionally draining. Not being able to see your partner on a regular basis can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and frustration. In some cases, long distance relationships can even lead to depression and anxiety.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: No Clear End in Sight

Finally, long distance relationships can be particularly challenging when there is no clear end date in sight. In our experience, couples that are apart and have yet to define a clear end point to the separation, are more likely to fail. For example, couples that plan on moving in together, engagement or other forms of commitment are more likely to succeed when there is a specific end date in mind. Without a clear end goal, it can be difficult to stay motivated and committed to the relationship.

The Harsh Facts of Long Distance Relationships: Ellie and Tom Overcome Their Separation

Ellie and Tom are in a long distance relationship. They live and work in different cities and only see each other every few months. Ellie is struggling with the emotional strain of being apart from Tom, and she’s feeling lonely and isolated.

To deal with the emotional strain of the distance, Sarah also talks to one of our expert coaches who specializes in long distance relationships. Through coaching, Ellie learns coping strategies to manage her emotions during the times when she’s feeling lonely or sad. For example, her coach suggests meditation and encourages her to join a group where she can practice with others.