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Monday, Monday, Monday. Back again to plague us all. They really are the glitter of weekdays, aren’t they? Just hiding in every nook and cranny, and also impossible to get rid of, it seems. I haven’t given up hope, yet, though — there HAS to be a way. In the meantime, at least we’ve got these 39 hilarious fails from last week to get us through: Editor’s Note: While we can’t endorse what X has become, we can bring you the fun moments that still exist there, curated and free of the surrounding chaos.

“Someone I know called in saying they couldn’t come to work because their reflection looked ‘judgy’ that morning, and they needed a mental health day to ‘repair their relationship with the mirror.’ I have no idea if it worked, but I respect the creativity.” —u/Happy-Ice-6024

“I declared I had to leave early in the summer on a beautiful day for ‘the little one’s nativity play.’ I have no children, but when someone tried to argue, I pointed out they had done this in winter, and it was only fair I get to leave early too with that excuse. Grabbed a coffee, went to the park, and read for a few hours. Do recommend.”

“A colleague said he needed to leave because his cat was having an existential crisis and wouldn’t stop meowing. To this day I don’t know if it was true.” —u/No-Breath-3888

. “I told my boss I had to leave early once because my kid got a pea stuck up his nose. Unfortunately, it was true.”

“His wife said he had to come home immediately. Everyone was concerned. Then, minutes later, he walked back into work and said his wife was on the radio and won $500 since she convinced him to leave work immediately (without telling him it was a radio contest).” —u/JLR-

“The parrot got out of his cage and was chasing my wife around the house. She locked herself in the bedroom, and I had to come home and handle him. He’s actually not mean; she’s just scared of him.”